The Mummy Returns

Starring: Brendan Fraser,
Rachel Weisz, The Rock,
John Hannah and Arnold Vosloo
Directed by: Stephen Sommers
Running time: Two hours and 20 minutes

I once spoke to someone who was the closest one could come to meeting a major studio executive in the wilderness of the Benelux (not their regular hunting ground). He was speaking about the language their kind has adopted when speaking to filmmakers. The comments one makes after a screening are always positive and complimentary, he said, yet it is also easy for the "club members" to decipher their true meaning.

Consider the following excerpt from a dialogue: "How did you like my film?" "Oh, great locations, wonderful photography and smashing costumes too." The latter did not fancy the film. It turns out that compliments like that are becoming curses for a film's image. I was reminded of this meeting after I saw "The Mummy Returns." A friend of mine who was in the cinema with me sought reassurance for his appreciation of the movie: "The effects were great, weren't they?" I agreed half-heartedly. It is indeed the best compliment one could pay to "The Mummy Returns" if one intends to indulge in the thankless task of finding the redeeming qualities of a movie that has few.

The plot of is a half-baked reshuffle of the original film's story, which is little more than an excuse for a relentless two-hour roller coaster ride. There are some sequences that spark genuine adrenaline rushes, notably a high-speed chase on the streets of London in a vehicle that is an inspirationally unorthodox choice for the purpose. Yet the majority of the action sequences are more often redundant than inspired.

I mentioned the special effects as a redeeming quality. Without being over-critical, that too would be stretching it. The best thing one could say about these was that there were loads of them. The directors opted for quantity over quality. Their computer-generated army of desert monsters is not very imaginative. An unbiased viewer could easily make the observation that they look a lot like dogs on the their hind legs. The effect they have on the viewer is closer to the ridiculous than to the intended fearsome.

One last point: The Rock, the wrestling star, is given equal billing to Brendan Fraser. This is not terribly fair as he gets a minute of screen time at the beginning of the film. The rest is two hours of lurking frustration for those kids waiting to see more of him. What they do get is a two-minute computer rendition of his face patched onto the body of a giant scorpion. Those two minutes are goofiness bordering on the inpired and are a strange and unexpected reward for those opting to see the movie.