This week is Joe week. Alfredo sauce and banana bread are two of my favorite foods, and I am absolutely positive you will enjoy them.

My Alfredo sauce is a dish my mother absolutely loves. Since my mom likes this dish so much, Alfredo sauce is what I usually make for that first dinner date with someone special.

You see, I think Alfredo sauce is a dish most Bulgarians will love, except for extremely thin Bulgarian women. The main ingredients are butter (fat), heavy cream (fat), and Parmesan cheese (fat). The secret to an extra thick Alfredo sauce is to add a little extra parmesan cheese.

With the sauce, use fettuccine (a type of pasta) if you can find them. Regular spaghetti is satisfactory if fettuccine cannot be found. The garlic bread recipes from last week are an excellent accompaniment to Alfredo sauce.

If you want to eat healthy, do not make Alfredo sauce. For those who pretend they eat healthy, add some boneless chicken pieces already cooked. Heavy cream may not be available in your town, so use milk instead.

Alfredo sauce cooking time on my stovetop ranges from 20 to 90 minutes. You see, evil trolls have left my stove after many severe beatings, but wild wombats took over my oven heat thermometer. Wombats only liked boiled sauces, and they always create chaos when I cook Alfredo sauce.

When I want to make something that a Bulgarian friend is certain to like, I make banana bread. Bulgarians go bonkers over bananas. Banana bread has been tried by almost 70 Bulgarians in Balchik, and there have been 70 happy people.

My favourite reason for making banana bread is that I get to ask the fruit and vegetable store shop worker for the three worst bananas. A typical conservation in Balchik goes like this after I buy bananas for banana bread:

Store Clerk: "The American bought the three worst bananas in the store. I tried to sell him better ones, but he demanded the worst bananas."
Baba: "He is crazy and I cannot understand his Bulgarian."
Young Female Friend: "He is crazy, but I wonder if he has a girlfriend?"

Enjoy these great dishes, and make sure everyone in town talks about your bananas.

Alfredo Sauce

225ml heavy cream/milk
125g butter
125g Parmesan cheese
2-3 cloves garlic, pressed or minced (optional)
black pepper
Nutmeg (indisko orekche)
500g boneless chicken, cut into small pieces (optional)

Directions: In a saucepan, add butter, heavy cream, and garlic. Heat at medium-low on oven. Add spices to taste once butter is melted. Stir occasionally to make sure the bottom does not burn. Do not let the sauce boil. When the sauce is very hot but not boiling, take pan away from heat and gradually stir in 25g of Parmesan cheese at a time. Make sure there are no lumps before adding the next 25g of Parmesan cheese. With a wombat-free oven, Alfredo sauce should take about 20 to 25 minutes to cook.

Banana Bread

400g flour
150g sugar
75g butter
3 ripe bananas, mashed or pureed
2 extra small spoonfuls baking powder (bakluver)
1/2 extra, very small spoonful baking soda
2 eggs
2 large spoonfuls yogurt
50g walnuts (broken into small pieces) (optional)

Directions: Mix dry ingredients. Add bananas, yogurt, butter, nuts, and eggs. Mix well until there are no lumps. Then, pour batter into large, greased rectangular pan. Bake at 175°C for 30 to 40 minutes. Bread is done when golden brown. Pierce bread with a toothpick. If toothpick comes out clean, bread is done. Cool for 20 minutes. Please note - a very small spoon is like spoons used to stir coffee.

Joseph Herr is a U.S. Peace Corps volunteer currently working in Balchik. His column appears weekly and he can be contacted at jdherr75@sabreshockey.com.