I remember the days long ago when people who were interested in acquiring a significant other used to simply head out to a bar or, God forbid, let one of their friends do a little matchmaking for them. Over time, things slowly changed, and the Want Ads in newspapers took on a whole new meaning as people could peruse their daily paper for a little love.

Even this avenue has now become unnecessary as the information superhighway has paved virtual roads for romance seekers. Meeting someone has become as simple, or as scary, as a point and click. Gone are the days of rehearsing your best one liners and working up the courage to go and talk to someone. Now you can just post a description of yourself and wait for them to come to you.

Have things become any simpler? Probably not. Just take a look at www.waytoopersonal.com/index.shtml. The site was created after the owner's somewhat humorous foray into the world of internet dating. She found her experiences and the people she met to be too bizarre not to share them with the rest of the world. "I'm not a social recluse or a hideously ugly troll, but I just wasn't meeting anyone who had anything in common with me," she writes on the site. "I ran a series of personal ads last year, which attracted the likes of which I never expected! Married men looking for flings, the grammatically challenged, freaky sick perverts, men who don't even speak the same language I do... you name it!"

Her site has become a collection of the responses she's received, tips on dating, and stories from the online community. Here's one of the responses sent to her and part of the reason the site came to be: "hi, who r u? u r very very very very very nice. i wont to be firend plz. agian ur very nice."

Needless to say, I don't think he got response. And if you're bothered by the grammar, keep in mind I even cleaned it up slightly to make it something approaching legible.

If you've found a single's site you like but are having difficulty sorting through all the ads, and deciphering what you're getting yourself into, check out www.melissaparker.com/personal.htm for the real meaning behind personal ads. And to think, all this time I thought these people were telling the truth. The site splits the references up into males and females. Things to watch out for in female ads: Open-minded really means `Desperate'; Outgoing means `Loud'; and Adventurer means `Has had more partners than you ever will.'

On the men's side: Athletic means `Sits on the couch and watches sports'; Friendship first means `As long as friendship involves nudity'; and Educated means `Will always treat you like an idiot.'

Now that you know what to avoid, if you're having trouble writing up an ad about yourself, make sure to look at http://members.tripod.com/Jennifer_R/ads.html, where you'll find a collection of the Worst Personal ads. Ever. Read them and learn from them. Here's one that falls sadly short of the mark: "There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them."

And I'm not entirely sure what to make of this one, but it frightens me: "I'm A Little Red Rooster and the barnyard feels empty without you. To get this athletic, good humoured, professional rooster strutting and crowing again, he needs to connect with an attractive Asian, Hispanic or exotic hen, 35-45, that likes her feathers tickled and enjoys life. Hens into ruffling feathers or henpecking need not apply. Cock-a-doodle-doo!"

So there you have it. If you find yourself ready to throw in the towel on the whole club scene, keep in mind, you do have options. Your rooster could be waiting for you online.